To golf fans.

Stop trying to be the first person to yell, "get in the hole" after a player tees off. It's a par 5, the ball isn't 'getting in the hole' yet. The most tame crowd of people dressed in khaki pants, golf shirts, [insert golf company name here] hat, and golf shoes (which is odd, considering they're not playing) just waiting to erupt as real sports if only for a split-second. There's something very uncomfortable about watching/listening to men say it, but even more so when women say it, almost angrily...

Scene: It's just before sunset, 18th hole. A slight breeze gently swirls off the adjacent pond. The match is tied, and the crowd roars as the players approach the green; flashbulbs crackling. All of the sudden, out from the calm waters of the pond, a drunk man dressed in a Loch Ness monster suit, face exposed, climbs the banks of the pond and waddles onto the green. Wreaking of whiskey and pond water, and attempting to make what he believes to be noises that only the Loch Ness is capable of making, a grunting birdlike squawk, he begins to spin like a top with his arms extended. As he attempts to stop, he staggers to his left and to his right, trying to maintain his balance. All the while,  the players, the fans, the commentators and the flashbulbs are silent; all that is heard is the man's grunting birdlike squawk. As he fails to maintain his balance, the man face-plants directly in front of the hole. The man, visibly in pain from his fall, yet too drunk to give up, begins to gather himself. As he comes to his knees, he begins to lean over the hole, and proceeds to vomit until it has overflown onto the green. Wiping the remains of his pink, chunky vomit from the sides of his mouth, the man rises to his feet, faces the grandstands, throws his arms in the air and yells, "GET IN THE HOLE"